Thursday, March 10, 2011

Doomed to repeat it . . . .

Hey there friends & neighbors,

It started nearly a month ago with a status update that went something like this:
So my neighbor had a really good afternoon. Like really good. Also, apparently she enjoys being spanked.
Later that day:
Wait . . . ssshhh . . . everybody be quiet a second . . . again???? F this. I'm going back downstairs. (Also, "sir currently banging my neighbor," 1. good for you and 2. stop asking if she's enjoying it. Trust me. She is.)
How could I be so sure my neighbor was enjoying herself? Because, friends, I have thin walls (see what I did there?), she has large lungs and I think her bed is up against the wall we share. I mean, it has to be. Because if it's not then let me say, sir banging my neighbor, good for you! You must work out.
So said neighbor has "hit it," as the kids say, every Saturday afternoon since then, consistently between the hours of 1pm and 5pm.
Now, before we get to our live tweeting event this weekend, (will it be a 5th week in a row???), I figured I'd take you through the (albeit brief) history first. Truthfully, I know very little about my aforementioned amorous neighbor. Before all this sexy time started, I think I saw her (or her roommate) maybe 2-3 times total since they moved in a few months ago. And since we're being truthful, I gotta tell you, I really have no idea which roommate it is getting her groove on every Saturday afternoon. Hell, it could be both of them. (Hot.) Well, both of them and some dude. (Hmmm . . . still hot . . . ?)

I have a theory (it could be bunnies) as to why the naughty only happens on Saturday afternoons though. Wait, correction, the loud naughty. Because I gotta believe girlfriend isn't getting it thrown in her just once a week. It is my thought that the roommate works on Saturday afternoons. So, not realizing (or maybe not caring) that we share a wall and I am napping (or attempting to nap), that gives my naughty neighbor (I have to give her a nickname. Oh! Maybe you all can help with that?) the perceived opportunity to let her loud freak flag fly. And good for her, I say, sincerely. I am never one to begrudge (or judge) the sexual activities and proclivities of a young lady and gentleman.

You want to get your freak on, then get it on. But can't you a.) move your bed about 5 feet away from the wall and (AND, not OR) b.)crank the tunes just a bit? Because I would much rather listen your shitty electronica/hip hop fusion bullshit with the completely unnecessary bass beat than your dude's also unnecessary questioning of your enjoyment or not while he awkwardly plows himself into you as you repeatedly assure and reassure him loudly (perhaps too loudly?) that he's doing a great job. Way to go sport!

Until that day happens, I have this blog (and Twitter feed). And, again, follow me Saturday as I live tweet from my bedroom! Will it be a 5th Saturday in a row??? Only time, loud grunting and a banging headboard will tell. 


1 comment:

  1. I LOL'd in my office at this post. We used to have a downstairs neighbor that watched a lot of porn. Female porn. And she is an elementary school teacher. She also happens to look like a nun. Not judging but it this post just reminded me of those times (and noises below!) :)